[geeks] RE: [rescue] OT: ADD - MOVING to geeks

[Mike Hebel]

> Ok, I will quote your message because I need to disseminate this clearly
> and accurately.

I will respond in the same way then - for clarity.

> Have you not been reading this list? Or are most of the flames I get in
> private? I do get flamed, but not as much as I used to. I learnt early
> on in my net life that it is wise to watch and learn, before making an
> ass out of ones self. That's why I watched this list for nearly  a month
> before a friend I recommended outed me. I don't see posting here as a
> necessary sign of intelligence.

No, but knowing enough to post your own opinion about a subject that you 
feel strongly about is.  The flames you get are not because you are seen 
as unintelligent but rather because your opinions are different than 
others.  That's life.  All_Same_Opinion$ == Sheeple$  The fact that you 
were willing to argue for _any_ of you opinions shows more than a little 
intelligence - dumb people just agree and nod their heads.  (Hint: It 
also shows a little confidence if you think about it.  Something we all 
lack at times. ;-)

> 
> I still hear and feel this constantly

Then you're listening to the wrong people.  I "hear" people like that 
but I don't "listen" to them.  The distinction is important because 
listening implies interest and at least agreement to "listen".  Bad 
stuff when the wrong people try and tell you things.

> The last test of intelligence I took was one that told me I had ADD.
> That was in Grade 7, more then a decade ago. I have never taken an IQ
> test, nor any other form of test that qualitatively says I am or am not
> smart, intelligent or bright. I don't plan to. I know me, I know my
> limitations. I read the post  that led to my reply and checked off many
> things that had always been problems. For instance, I lie in bed, trying
> to get to sleep, for an average of 3 hours. Trying to stay up until dead
> tired doesn't help, as it still takes hours to fall asleep. The
> descriptions of mind racing when the head hits the pillow are entirely
> accurate.

So you have problems - some of them I checked off in the relevant post 
as well.  I'm personally wide-awake at 02:30(approx) because I can't 
sleep either.  And I was awake at 8am today.  This happens regularly to 
me as well.  Sometimes it helps to read things I have no interest in.  I 
get bored and tired. Regardless - you've got problems.  We all do. 
Welcome to life - we haven't reached 1.0 yet. *grin*


> I thought it was insomnia, as I have only noticed this a lot as of the
> last year or so, but my a couple ex's told me recently that this was a
> problem back then(2 and 4 years respectively) so I assume this was
> always happening. I try not to listen to the people who tell me that I
> cannot do what I want, which is to work with computers. I hear so many
> people tell me that the only thing I can do is menial shit that bores me
> and I quickly end up missing work and losing the job. I have gone
> through this pattern a dozen times before.

Hmph.  I've have been, in the past 15+ years, a cider press operator at 
an apple orchard, a fast food person, a pizza delivery person, an auto 
parts store delivery person, a beginning technician/rma person/assembly 
person/sales person/phone person, a network support technician, a 
sysadmin/network admin/support person, Radio Shack peon, and lastly and 
currently and unemployed house-husband.  In all that I could have quit 
each time my responsibilities got bigger - but I didn't.  All the time I 
had "those" people on my back - I still do now.  The ones that say

"Why don't you just do what you're good for!"
"How do you think you're going to manage that?  You're not smart enough!"
"Don't you think you're taking on too much for you?"
"We only tell you these things because we care about you!"
"You sure you're doing that right?"

My question for you is this:
Why are you even wasting energy on these people?
Consider them unimportant and move on.
The only things that come out of an asshole are shit and gas.  Do you 
really need either in your life?

> 
> Ok, I will rephrase. I am not as intelligent and as knowledgeable as 95%
> of this list. Better?

No.  Knowledgeable I might buy because everyone has to start out at the 
bottom. Intelligence I won't buy.  The only damage I can see to your 
mind is _not_ physical IMHO thus I will not rule out your being a closet 
genius.  I grant this sort of view to people until they prove me wrong.

> 
> A: Very likely, or never given the time to learn the right way for me.

Fixable - just keep looking.

> B: I have tried to overcome my ADD without medication or outside
> assistance(indeed I was ashamed of it for a long time) and admit now
> that I have failed miserably.

Then you need some sort of help.  Ask people off-list with ADD - I'm 
sure they'll be happy to give you some pointers.  You probably just 
haven't tried the right thing for you yet.  Keep looking - I suggest 
drugs (and Psychiatrists) as a last resort.

> C: I find computers and the web fascinating, I like trying to figure out
> how to get computers to do what I want, but get easily frustrated when
> things do not work out.

So.  I've got 8 different computer projects in the works at home.  Few 
of them are moving because or frustration with them and other things. 
The current one is being unable to get CUPS printing on my Linux 
workstation to print to my Samba server.  (Remote LPD doesn't seem to 
work either.)  Am I going to chuck it completely?  No.  I'll probably 
let it sit for a couple of days until I want to get working on it again.
Here's a pointer for you - computers never do what you want, only 
exactly what you tell them.  If you like it - you obviously shouldn't 
stop it.

> D: That is possible, but I would apply that to trying to learn other
> jobs other then those in my field of interest, though in school I was
> trying to learn something(Windows admin) that I did not want to learn.

Fair enough.  What helps me on this is that I literally put on them 
mental persona of the person doing the job.  If I'm digging ditches, 
that's what I am at that moment and all things "ditch" are important to 
me at that time.  If I'm beating a Windows box into submission, just 
fought with my wife's RealDownload earlier, then at that time I'm a 
Windows Technician and all things Windows are imporant to me.  It's all 
in how you look at the situation - sometimes it helps to look with 
someone else's eyes.

> I am rather fond of computers....

There you go then.  At least that's a direction that you feel strongly 
about.  IMHO if you felt strongly enough about it to start it and follow 
at least part of it through it's usually something that you could do for 
much longer and be happy doing it too.  (I think you've just made me 
realize something about my current situation...thanks!)

 >
> Interesting theory, but I have yet to see it proven. I mean I guess it
> depends on the most people to which you refer. If you took a sampling of
> this list, then no. If you took a sampling of Windows users, then yeah,
> no doubt about it. Perspective is everything in that, I think.

I think you're looking to prove that to yourself.  Or...maybe to other 
people.  Truthfully I think you just need to do what you _want_ to do 
and worry about it later.  If the intelligence is there enough to get 
your running then it's there enough to finish the race to the end.  (No 
that something you like doing should ever really end - within reason.)

> 
> I try not to, but it has grown to become a habit, one I wish it were as
> easy to break, as it is to diagnose.

I still bite my fingernails.  I still get instantly angry when someone 
takes a poke at me.  I still break inside a little when people tell me 
my skills are not worth anything.  Habits are hard to break - that's why 
they call them habits.  You could spend years diagnosing the source of 
that fluttering pixel on the single page of your program display but 
then you'd never get anything else done and miss the rest of the 
diagnostics on top of it all.  Sometimes you just have to drive the car 
with the engine misfiring until you get to a point where you can do a 
tune-up.

I hope I've made some points to you - I really hate to see others 
struggle through the same stuff I waded through to get to this point in 
my life.

Don't ever compromise your integrity for anyone or anything.
Don't ever think the universe can't kill you where you stand.
Don't ever let the universe do it.

and finally

Don't ever give up on yourself.  You're one of a kind on this planet - 
no matter what people tell you.

Mike Hebel