[geeks] Am I getting too old or something.....

[Jonathan C. Patschke]

On Thu, 18 Jul 2002, Bjorn Ramqvist wrote:

> Three ingredients; pig blood, flour and some pig fat. Mix it until it's
> easy to form. Cut slices. Fry in a buttered pan. Serve with fried bacon

Wow.  That could very-well kill me, and with the word "pudding" the name,
I was expecting something edible.  I'm allergic to something in pork.  I
double-over with cramps and have explosive diarrhea for hours[1] from a
ham sandwich, and not very-much more has me on the floor spasming and
twitching in all sorts of unhealthy ways.

It used to not always be that bad.  My family eats lots of pork, and about
the time I was 10 or 11, I noticed that I got stomach-sick quite often.
Within a couple of months, I had it figured out.  Back then, it was only
fresh pork that made me ill; I could still eat cured pork, salt-pork, and
pressed-ham.  Now I cannot eat any of it, and even the smell of bacon
cooking makes me nauseous.

<minirant>

Damn, but I do miss the taste of fresh pork chops.  And just -try- living
in the southern United States unable to eat pork.  I've finally had to
tell some people that I'm Jewish because a lot of people will try to sneak
it in, thinking that it's all in my head, and I won't notice.  Figure
that; tell people that something makes a you sick, and they serve it
anyway because they think you're rotten in the head; tell them that you
believe eating it will make you ritually unclean, and they listen.
*sigh* People!

My family tried to serve me pork (sneaking it in beans and veggies[2], as
well as making it the "mystery meat" in soups) damn-near up until two
years ago.  They kept forgetting.  But then, my own mother has forgotten
my birthday on at least one occasion, so perhaps I just have an
eccentrically absent-minded family.

</minirant>

[1] No kidding; it must trigger some subconscious "Immediately purge the
    body of everything.  Now!" reflex upon hitting the intestines.  I
    basically get to avoid sleep all night and camp out on the toilet
    with a tankard of water or gatorade to keep from dehydrating.  And
    I must point out that taking a crap for 3 or 4 hours continuously is
    tiring work, not to mention all the nasty things that I could be
    doing to myself by having chyme that far down in the digestive tract.

[2] WTF is the deal with pork in veggies?  The damned things are perfectly
    tasty without any help.  Add butter and salt if you must, but leave
    the hogs out of it!

-- 
Jonathan Patschke
  "gnu: we aim to fuck up everything with the potential to not suck"
                                                   --alex j avriette