[geeks] baby stuff

[Beth Roberts]

Jennifer Sharp wrote:
> I told my OB that I didn't want an IV and she told me
> basically it was tough shit.

Bad OB! No donut! Tell OB "fuck off"!

Oh, sorry, I lapsed into Tarzan-speak there for a moment.

The IV thing is total bullshit. Call her on it. If there's a sudden
unforeseen emergency, they CAN get an IV into you VERY QUICKLY. They do it
all the damn time in trauma wards.

If you have an IV, you're chained to the damn IV cart. It's bullshit - it
makes it harder for you to get to the bathroom, or walk the halls (both of
which help labor progress and make you feel better).

A normal healthy human woman in labor should not be fucked with. A good
doctor is like a lifeguard - they only jump in to save you if you *need*
saving, they don't micromanage your goddamn stroke.

Sorry.

Let me guess, this OB likes to induce a lot of her patients, too? And she
likes to cut episiotomies, I imagine? How many of her patients get
c-sections? Does she even KEEP TRACK!?!?!

Ahem.

> I really wish I could do a home delivery with people I
> know and trust but I don't think my family would go for it and I am
> really getting tired of fighting with them about my child and what I
> want for him/her.

No offense, but really, motherhood is a very, very looooong road where you
will have to fight for your child, tooth and nail, over and over and over
again. Whether you like it or whether you hate it, you'll be fighting
fatigue, your own preconceptions of motherhood, your own ideals of yourself
as The Perfect Mother [tm], and a thousand other dragons. Daily. Hourly. But
it *does* get easier, as time goes on. Really.

Of course one of $DEITY's cruelest jokes is that many times just as a woman
learns to enjoy her slavery to her child(ren), she loses one or more
(sometimes they fly gloriously from the nest, sometimes it's the stuff of
nightmares).

Personally, I recommend doing the birth Your Way, to the degree which you
feel prudent, since we haven't figured out time travel yet and you can't
re-do it if it comes out unsatisfactorily. The ranks of women who wished
they had stood up for themselves more with regard to their births are
legion. I stand among them.

Know this: if you're in a hospital, they *will* get in your face very
clearly if you and/or your child are truly in danger. Know your patient
rights (including the right to refuse specific treatments). If they do
something you don't consent to, it's assault. Have your SO recording video
if you can, audio if you can't. If they fuck with you, bust their asses.

Eek. Ok. Sorry, getting militant there. Guess I'm channeling the spirits of
a bunch of women who've been screwed over by the current over-medicalized
hospital system of birth...

The point is, they're terrified of getting sued. You can use that to your
advantage. It's normal to lose your defenses in front of a doctor. They have
that whole mystique-of-trust thing going on. They're human, just like us,
and they fuck up, just like us. And sometimes they're boneheaded thugs, too.
(And sometimes they're just clueless).

It's never too late to pick another doctor, even in the middle of labor...

I'll shut up now. It's your birth. You can do it. You will do it. The only
question is *how*. And a surprisingly huge portion of that is up to you - at
least the overall setting and so on.

-Beth, birth radical ^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hafficionado

p.s. Yes, I recommend getting a doula. Some will even work for free if you
are poor. Really.