[geeks] Boston Driving was RE: Working in Waltham

[Craig Leikis]

I was warned by someone who had made that trip a few times before, so at
least I knew what roads to take, but "downtown changes every 5 minutes, so
I can't help you there. Follow the signs." The first time I had no choice
but to drive, the second I suckered someone else into getting the rental
car.

You pretty much described my driving experience in Boston. I grew up in
San Antonio and live in DFW, so I thought I knew about traffic. Uh uh.
No way. It was horrible.

On the way back to Logan, I found myself in an exit-only lane after going
through a horrible, congested construction area. I did the natural thing
and turned on my blinker. When a hole opened up, I started to move over. A
car from the far-left lane saw my blinker and forced me (nearly ramming
me) back into my lane. There definitely an air of "screw you, you can't
have that spot" to the move.

I learned not to use a blinker after that. Just go! Hell, it's a rental
and it's insured, what do I care?

Oh, I also learned not to let the rental company give me a car with NY
plaates.

Craig

On Fri, 17 May 2002, Chris Byrne wrote:

> You mean no-one warned you? You poor bastard.
>
> Often when I tell a traveller Im from Boston they'll say to me "Oh I have to
> go there in X, any advice?" My universal response is "Don't try and drive.
> Dont even think about trying to drive"
>
> Honestly I've driven to and/or from most of the major (and a depressing
> number of minor) airports on two continetns and there is no worse airport to
> get out of than Logan during rush hour (or really any hour).
>
> Here's the situation. Logan is the 7th busiest airport in America. It serves
> as the only relatively convenient airport for an area spanning 5+ states.
>
> Logan airport is on a small island just off the coast of Boston, attached by
> two bridges to the north and two tunnels to the south. One of the bridges is
> for rail traffic only and one of the tunnels is commercial traffic only, and
> has a limited operating schedule.
>
> The callahan tunnel is the primary link to the island as well as to the
> northern half of the metropolitan Boston area, home to some two million
> people (the entirety of the metro Boston area is about 5 million during the
> school year. Boston is one of the largest college towns in America.)
>
> Logans exit road consits of 8 lanes of traffic being squeezed through 5
> tollbooths (oh yeah I forgot to mention it's a toll tunnel) which widen out
> into 6 lanes for about 50 feet then immediately converge into two double
> yellowed lanes within 100 feet.
>
> Exiting those tollboths is like the starting gate at some crack addled taxi
> drivers version of DEATHRACE 2000.
>
> And of course assuming you make it through the gauntlet you then get dumped
> out into the middle of a construction detour in downtown boston UNDER a
> highway with no clear way of how to get onto another highway.
>
> Driving in Boston is without a doubt the worst driving experience in the
> nation. These are the people that invented the concept of owning a beater
> that you only drove in the city or in the winter because you just dont give
> a shit. These are the people who actually codified then published a game
> predicated on the points system of bad driving where Hitting a Nun escorting
> Schoolchildren automatically won you the game(yes it was the first. It was
> orignally released in the 60's. )
>
> And as far as navigation goes, my first recomendation is DONT. If that's not
> possible and you absolutely for some reason MUST drive in Boston as a
> non-native it is absolutely essential you find a native guide immediately.
> Not that we know what we're doing either, but we'll yell and scream and make
> rude gestures a lot along with telling you when its ok (or crucial) to run a
> red lite or bang an illegal u-ie across 4 lanes of traffic.
>
> See it's not that Boston drivers are bad. It's that they hate you. All of
> you. Every last bit of you. You must all die for daring to invade the same
> roadspace as they have claimed as their own.
>
> Chris Byrne