[geeks] Things you Cant Do In The Army

[Brian Dunbar]

On Feb 2, 2004, at 10:33 AM, doctor obnox son of a bitch wrote:

> Brian Dunbar spoke in riddles, like the night...
>
>> On Jan 29, 2004, at 9:19 PM, Bill Bradford wrote:
>>
>> I've always like #84
>>
>>  84. Must not use military vehicles to 'Squish' things.
>>
>> But the memories ...
>>
>> 152. The following items do not exist: Keys to the Drop Zone, A box of
>>        grid squares, blinker fluid, winter air for tires, canopy 
>> lights,
>>        or Chem-Light . batteries.
>
> Bolt expander, box of ground guides, bag of woofle dust for a jeep
> clutch (to help it "set up" better), antifreeze for an M60A3.

Left handed sprocket wrench.  Exploding rounds for the designated 
sharpshooter (one per rifle battalion), that only the battalion's 
'Special Ordinance Officer' can check out of the armory .. no, not our 
armory, but the one at Stone Bay, Sir.  See you after lunch, Lt.

>
> Heimermann got so fulstered by these requests, that he wound up 
> refusing
> to fetch anything, even if it existed. (for example, a 3/4" line 
> wrench)
>
>> 153. I should not assign new privates to 'guard the flight line'.
>
>
> Check tank armor for "soft spots" with ball-peen hammer.

We sent some new guys with a can of Dura-Glit to polish the brass rails 
at the nearest Metro (D.C subway) ... my they looked shiny.

~brian