[SunRescue] good news

[Mike Nicewonger]

Bravo Dave,

That is without question the way life should be. Guys (ladies too) wake up,
you cannot get a leopard to change it's spots, why should you expect us guys
to change? As you so to the point put it Dave, Change? no, compromise, for
sure! I fear the day I hear something along the lines of "that junk must
go!"

Regards,

Mike N
----- Original Message -----
From: "Dave McGuire" <mcguire at neurotica.com>
To: <rescue at sunhelp.org>
Cc: <jsharp at psychoses.org>; <gadams at avernus.com>; <holden at ist.net>
Sent: Monday, October 02, 2000 1:05 AM
Subject: Re: [SunRescue] good news


> On October 1, Bill Bradford wrote:
> > > LOL- only problem with that theory, is that we all have MORE of the
stuff than
> > > we used to.
> >
> > You must not be married or have a live-in girlfriend. 8-)
> >
> > Dave McG - are you single or "otherwise occupied"?  I"ve always wondered
if
> > you had someone behind the scenes going "NO!  NOT ANOTHER CRAY!  NOT A
SINGLE
> > ONE!" 8-)
>
>   I'm just passing the six-month mark dating Ruby, your basic
> lifetime-of-dreams-come-true-all-rolled-up-into-one type of lady.
> We're not quite to the point of sharing a house (I live alone in a
> medium-sized house), but when we do, it'll have to be a big one.
> She's not really into the stuff that I'm into, but she understands
> that it's important to me and is a major (and I mean MAJOR) part of my
> personal and professional life.
>
>   I must say, though, that this is an issue that I feel very strongly
> about.  As a matter of fact, my fingers are just itching to go off on
> a tirade on the subject.
>
>   If I married someone and they turned around and said "you've got to
> get rid of all this stuff!" I'd wonder why that person was involved
> with me in the first place.  Someone who wants me to curtail my
> technical activities quite simply wants me to be a different person
> than who I am.  Now, I don't pretend to have all the answers, but that
> CANNOT be what relationships are all about.  It simply cannot!
>
>   When cohabitating with a girlfriend (which I've done twice), I make
> every reasonable effort to be considerate and keep my stuff out of her
> way.  No PDPs in the front hallway, for example.  But the first time I
> hear anything like "don't bring home any more computer stuff!" or
> anything of the sort, the relationship is over on the spot...no
> questions asked.  Just to be a hardass?  Definitely not.  The point
> is, someone who wants me not to be a technogeek surrounded by my
> technogeek stuff, wants SOMEONE OTHER THAN WHO I AM...it's as simple
> as that.
>
>   Ruby, it seems, loves me for who I am...ALL of who I am, including my
> old goodies like PDP11s, VAXen and Cray YMP/EL, my newer big whoppers
> like my SGIs and my Cray J90, and the drum kit and the electron
> microscope in the living room.  And the same goes for how I feel about
> her right on down to her vegetarianism, her professionality, her
> artistic pursuits, and even her 2-year-old son.  The minute that
> changes, she and I have no business being together.
>
>   One CANNOT pick & choose the "favorable" attributes of a life partner
> and force the "unfavorable" ones out of existence.  We are PEOPLE, not
> Lego sets.  We're atomic, self-contained, and indivisible.  Maybe I'm
> being too idealistic, but I truly believe this to be true.
>
>   Guys...let those wives know that this "junk" (Christ, what an
> insulting but _frequently used_ word!) is important to you...no matter
> what they think of it.  Marriage doesn't have to mean "sacrifice the
> stuff that you like".  Compromise?  Of course!  But sacrifice?
>
>
>                Respectfully,
>                -Dave McGuire
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