[geeks] Re: Breeding, etc.

[amy]

"Robert J. Slover" wrote:
> I stayed out of the cat discussion even though I think they're a waste of
> space in general.  

mmm, i disagree with this but i understand that some people just dont
like animals. much like some people cant abide kids. 
  
> So, summarizing that, I'd agree with Chris's analyses that a lack of
> any feeling of personal responsibility is the root of most bad parenting
> and of 'bad kids'.  Irresponsible parents certainly don't instill personal
> reponsibility in their kids.  

i think a great deal of the problem stems from the fact that, once you
have children, it's no longer about you anymore. some parents get it and
some dont (most dont nowadays). the parents who dont are the ones that
wind up raising small tornados that destroy everything and anything
within range. 'uncontrollable', if you will.

> As for the rest of you, if you can do a better job of parenting than most
> I want my daughter to have a good selection of well-mannered, intelligent, 
> compassionent and responsible geek guys to choose from when she reaches that age. 

well, status quo is that by the time your daughter reaches that age,
she'll probably taunt, torture and blow off all the compassionate,
well-mannered, and responsible geek guys in the world until she learns
better. *shrug*

> To me, being a good parent is the biggest
> and most rewarding challenge of my life.  And it beats the hell out of
> owning cats.

parenting a child and parenting a pet arent very different. it irritates
me to no end when sanctimonious parents praise their children-bearing
abilities and say its absolutely positively so much better and far
beyond ever raising a pet. these are the same folks who have never taken
a 100+ lb dog from puppyhood through maturity _with the same intensity_
that they would give a fruit from their loins. its the same
discliplinary factor, the same responsibility factor, the same attention
factor. the only difference is you dont have to teach a pet which fork
to use or how to tie their shoes. 

you have to teach a pet how to behave in public, around strangers and
with family. you have to teach them to not get into the cabinets and you
have to lock up the chemicals. you have to grind into their memories
right from wrong and hope to god that when the lights go out they
remember. when they're bad you punish them. when they're sick you stay
up all night and hope the doctor is right and the prescriptions work.
when they act up in public, you feel shame and embarassment as a parent.
and when they die you feel like you've lost a part of yourself that you
cannot regain.

you know, immediately after bill and i married we were inundated by
folk's good wishes and asking how soon children would be expected. its
apprently the american dream. get married, buy a house, push out a few
babies. *shrug* to each person we explained that no children were
possible but that we had cats and a dog instead, and we received many
comments. mostly they were of the pitying kind. 'oh, so sorry to hear
that'. my response is 'why? i'm not. i have 4 children already.'

i love being a good parent to max. he's a mischeivous pain in the ass
and a destructive monster at the age of 1 year, 6 months. thats around 8
years child-wise. so far he's managed to learn sit, no, and dinnertime.
we're working on stay. now maybe to most people who have kids this is
nothing, laughable, a joke. but to me, he is one of my children, and it
means the world that he's learning to fly right. i'd rather have thirty
minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special and so far,
max's (and the cats--kitty, kitten, and sif) given me much more than
that.

--amy